Tuesday, January 08, 2013

Home is Where the Heart Is...

Well, there are exciting times on the horizon. I may be doing the UNTHINKABLE! It's so scandalous that Mom gave the full guilt trip that Moms sometimes do. Dad shook his head in profound fatherly disappointment.

NOTE: The blogworld may breathe a deep sigh of relief. I am NOT marrying Jimbo. It would have only dark disastrous consequences on all of humanity:
BC: EEK... Stop trying to control me!
Jimbo: If you stop being an effing whore, I wouldn't feel the need to control you!
Jimbo: If you don't start giving me a little cock-a-doodie respect around here Mister Man, I'm getting the sledgehammer!
BC: Take your weapon. Strike me down. With each passing moment you make yourself more my servant.
Jimbo: NEVER!!! (lunges with a Dungeons & Dragons Battle Axe)
Ahem. That's why it would never workout with Jimbo. Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah.... the unthinkable and scandalous event! Brace yourselves. (Whispering) I may be buying a new construction home and moving OFF the family farm an incredible distance of 10 miles away!

Yep. I have been mulling over signing the contract for 10 days now. The actual house is pictured above (behind Jimbo caressing my body in a jacuzzi). It is 1688 sq ft, two car garage, three bedrooms, two baths, a large living room and kitchen and a covered patio in back. The best part is that the master bathroom has his and his walk-in  closets, a separate glass shower, and a deep garden tub where Jimbo and I can luxuriously soak and squabble all the goddamn time.

I have already been pre-qualified to buy the home due to an excellent credit score. With no debt and decent savings, I will have enough to put down 3%, pay various closing costs, build a wood fence, buy new furniture for the master bedroom and living room, a big ass refrigerator, etc. The only thing that makes me go "GULP!" is Jimbo is getting used to paying a hefty mortgage for the first time in 10 years.

The house I live in now costs very little in the way of living expenses. The trouble is that it is waaaaay in the boonies, not nearly big enough to host people and parties, and would be a little cramped if a BF moved in there with me. If I do buy the new house, which will be completed next month, I will be only a block away from work, gym, and the tennis courts. I will save 20 hours a month off of my rage-inducing stop-and-go suburban hell of a commute to work.

Now, the only thing left is to once again approach Mom and Dad seeking their blessing for betraying them in the selfish act of moving off the family Farm. GULP!    


Blogger Cubby said...

Saving 20 hours of commute hell per month is priceless. I'd have bought the house by now. Congratz Brett!

January 08, 2013  
Blogger Brent said...

I'm thrilled for you.

I will play devils advocate for a minute...
Paying all that extra cash to a mortgage will mean less money to spend on new Tennis stuff (rackets, shoes, clothes).
Also, is being that close to work really a benefit...
Sorry to be the downer... I am thrilled for you and I'm hoping I get an invite some day.

January 09, 2013  
Blogger Blobby said...

you're like 42 years old. Get over the asking permission from mommy and daddy. cut the cord - they'll be glad you did.

January 09, 2013  
Blogger Brettcajun said...

Mom worries, "I'll never see you!" since I'll be living so far away now (10 miles). Dad recited new bankruptcy laws and said, "Ya know Son... if you don't pay your mortgage and run up lots of debt... they'll garnish your wages!" :/

January 09, 2013  
Blogger Homer said...

Oh, you are all grown up now! Well, almost.

January 09, 2013  
Anonymous jimbo said...

I am going to throw up.

January 10, 2013  
Anonymous Jeff said...

Brett, just tell our mom that when you move you'll be able to spend more time with family because your new house is closer to the prison.

Always lookin' out for ya bud!

January 11, 2013  
Blogger cb said...

It really is a big decision. It's also a fairly big house. 1600 sq feet is a lot for a single person (even with two gay dogs). A lot to furnish, clean, heat and cool, and maintain with yard work, etc.

Just food for thought.

January 13, 2013  
Blogger MARK CLARK said...

I say get the house :-)

January 15, 2013  
Blogger RG said...

Congrats. But isn't it going to be difficult to close the front door of your new home because, you know, you're still attached to Mom's umbilical cord?

January 15, 2013  

Post a Comment

<< Home