Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Onto Singlehood:

You may have heard the rumors. It is true: I am back in the state of singlehood. The relationship with Mean Cub was a conundrum that could not be solved. For whatever reasons, we could not make it work. Hence, we have been living as roommates for quite some time.

Going forward, I am doing a lot of self-analyzing. What can I bring to the table? I am financially secure, loyal and passionate. I play a sport, tennis, that keeps me in great shape and provides an outlet to be social with others. I am family-oriented and believe in the importance of holidays with family. I have been told by others that I am a damned good lover. I don't smoke, do drugs, and my annual alcohol consumption may be 10 Bud Lites.

One could present an argument that I am too set in a routine (boring). In my defense, I am currently grounded from traveling extensively because I have two old dogs who make me feel REALLY guilty boarding them. Taking my dogs on trips can be problematic because they are co-dependent. Guests at pet friendly hotels would hear a very sad "Tale of Woe" sung loudly anytime I'd leave the room.

What I try, and obviously fail at, is being someone's Champion. As much as I'd like to, I cannot solve or fix everything that gets in the way of someone's happiness. I can create short-term happy events, but I am no Savior. I can provide support and do my best to make a partner's life easier, but I have learned that one's happiness is ultimately in their own hands.

It comes down to this. Through luck and choices I consciously make, I am able to live comfortably in a routine that serves me well. The life I have chosen is very stable. I would think such stability would be looked upon as an admirable trait in a partner.

On the other hand, I may not have enough PIZAZZ to make others happy. This is an area I have thought long and hard about. Perhaps I do take my health and well-being far too seriously. Maybe I should let my hair down and try new things. Be more adventurous!

So, what can you bring to the table?

Monday, October 27, 2014

Change in the Air:


This weekend was a refreshing change: I had a pretty busy itinerary! After doing the usual morning tennis on Saturday with my friend Mike, I brought the rugrats to the family's fishing camp for a great BBQ outing. As always, Boudreaux and Pierre were on their best behavior. My family was amazed how regimented they were standing by me at all times. They are not wild... but they ARE co-dependent. LOL.


Pierre enjoyed the change of scenery too!

On Saturday night, I made the first trip to George's in Baton Rouge in like two years. The bar was full of LSU fans cheering on the Tigers. I had a beer, then joined friends for a scary good time at one of the best haunted houses in the country, The 13th Gate. Thankfully, we paid a little more money for VIP tickets and were able to skip a long line of 300 something teenagers. Afterwards, I went back to Georges and had a few more beers just in time to watch LSU upset #3 ranked Ole Miss. :)


On Sunday, I ventured down to New Orleans enjoying fun times with good company and treating our taste buds to chicken and Andouille gumbo and crème brûlée gelato. It was a perfect time to walk around the French Quarter, as the weather was absolutely gorgeous.

Do you want to see something tickle your funny bone? This is a NSFW video of a distraught Ole Miss fan cursing after her team lost in the closing seconds. She REALLY hates LSU. The video is HILARIOUS! Enjoy. :)

Monday, October 20, 2014

Too Old for This:

Argh. Tennis tournaments are fun, right? Not when you are 44 years old and are asked to play up to 3 matches a day with barely 30 minutes of rest between each match. My feet, Achilles heels, calf muscles, knees and shoulders sure took a beating this weekend.


I played well and was not outclassed in any of the singles or doubles matches. Unfortunately, I did not WIN any trophies. My body and brain could not carry me to victory.  A couple of friends watched me play and both observed that while I have nice natural tennis movement and skills on the court, I lose focus when I am too much "IN MY OWN HEAD".

Hello... tennis is a very mental game. Not only do we have to deal with weather conditions, injuries, and opponents who are sometimes dubious in their line calls or knowledge of rules, we have to deal with our own mental state. I don't care how physically fit you are, when fatigue sets in... you are going to make mistakes. The trick is to overcome your bad shots and will your confidence back no matter what the score is.


I was fortunate to have a great doubles partner named Mark. We lost in the B Consolation Finals, but turned in admirable play together. IF ONLY we could have both played full strength, but that's the nature of tournaments. Survival of the fittest and best able to maintain mental focus WINS. I am also very thankful for my assistant who helped me tremendously this weekend.

Monday, September 29, 2014

Darth Tennis Gawd:

Tirelessly, I prepare for the upcoming Fleur-De-Lis tennis tournament in New Orleans. I have less than three weeks to get my game and physical conditioning in top order. Finding the right amount of practice against good competition while minimizing injury is a tricky balancing act for this 44 year old.


I am also walking my 13 year old, Jean Pierre, more than ever. He has always been chunky and I have been way too lax in letting him stay that way. So, walks in the park will be a daily endeavor from now on.
I even took him along to supervise my tennis team last Thursday. As Team Captain, Daddy is responsible for fielding the most competitive team week in and week out. Jean Pierre watched intently as we critiqued every player in the lineup. 

Someone commented that he looks like Dick Cheney. LOL. My baby is way too sweet to be him! He's my cuddly little teddy bear.  

Tuesday, September 02, 2014

LIVING IN PURGATORY:

Long have I held this suspicion, but the evidence is so overwhelming I can now verify it. I am LIVING IN PURGATORY. I have to be. People I meet are fundamentally crazy and quite capable of pissing me off just by breathing. Yeah. :( !!!

Take my roommate, Mean Cub. He is acting stranger by the day. As a gay man, one would assume a request to help measure for curtains and pick out drapes would light his honey pot. He muttered something unintelligible, ate dinner, and abruptly retired to his bedroom. Upon closer inspection, I discovered his more pressing matter was watching the latest episode of "Dallas" and some history channel program chronicling the crucifixion of Jesus. Tomorrow will be groundhog day and onto something else.


Can we talk about Twinks? (whispering) They actually think Beyonce is THE Queen. Yes, she looks good and dances well... but what memorable hit song has come from her lately? NONE. Beyonce's songs are all throwaways... never to be remembered in 5, 10, or 20 years. Madonna is OUR QUEEN stupid bitches!

And when did we become a society plagued by overt opportunists?  Not too long ago, a person hit on me. He stated that he was NOT easy and never puts out on the first date. They angled for me to take them to a nice restaurant. Oh... and they ALWAYS order a nice bottle of wine. Ahem. IF I want to treat you to a nice dinner and a bottle of wine, it will be MY decision. Not yours... prostitute.

Speaking of prostitutes, look at some of the gays who are getting married. Apparently, marriage is the act of legally binding yourself to another human being so you can have access to their credit line, get lots of "awwww's", and a facade of prestige in the community. Never mind the best man is the one you are fucking. Can you at least NOT trick with others a month before and after you get married? Will it absolutely kill you to have some semblance of morals and not make a mockery of marriage for those of us who do? TRUST ME... your "I LOVE MY HUSBAND!" status updates look fake and your marriage one big sham concocted for attention. Yay, gay rights. :(

One more thing. It has come to my attention that all the gym and tennis check-ins I do on FB is a major turn-off.  I typically brush off such criticisms by considering the source. You know, the ones who ALWAYS post pics of themselves with a drink in their hand or checking-in at bars.

The person wagging their finger caught me at the wrong time. I wouldn't say I went holier-than-thou on them, but I didn't mince words either. If you are truly tired of being SQUISHY, then perhaps you should frequent gyms more and bars less! The sad thing is that they used to have a nice body, but their boozy lifestyle made their weight balloon up 50 #'s once they reached the age of 30.

I texted them pics of what a 44 year old looks like who rarely drinks and checks-in to gyms and tennis courts:



Okay, I'm not Jimbo. I'm done bitching. Hallelujah!

This past weekend, I did find ONE DAY to drive down to New Orleans and experience Southern Decadence. I was pleasantly surprised that it was not overly crowded as in past years. I am chalking that up to getting into the city in the morning and getting out at a decent hour. It was nice to hangout with some familiar friendly faces and see my bud Chris again for the first time in 10 years. See, I can be social and pretend to like people...  in small doses. ;)

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Happenings and Whatnots:






















The Mixed League is in full swing. Lisa and I are doing well, only losing ONE match thus far. That unfortunate happening occurred on the same day I flew back from Las Vegas and when she got back from a seven day cruise. I am blaming it on being trip lagged. Since then, we are squeaking by with exhilarating wins. We tell each other that subconsciously we must want to burn more calories playing third set tie-breakers!























A few weeks ago, I attended my very first Baton Rouge Pride festival. It was nice as it was in a big air-conditioned atrium. I bumped into many friends who I hadn't seen in a while and got to catch up. I also had the privilege watching the lovely Austin Babtist Women peform their gospel skit. It was fun and hilarious! :) There were religious idiots protesting the event outside, including the ringleader who was arrested a couple years ago masterbating in a public park. He held up some sign about Homosexuality being a perversion. Yet, he likes to jerkoff in a public park? Mmmkay!



In other news, I finally turned a rarely used third bedroom into an entertainment extravaganza! I purchased the XBox One, a LG 50" 240hz LED TV, and a 300w sound bar with wireless subwoofer. I can now play my nephew Mason in TitanFall, Forza5, and Madden NFL 25. I love jiggy dancing on the Just Dance 2014 game against players around the world.

One app I am also enjoying is Xbox One Fitness. There are a ton of exercise programs ranging from PX90, kickboxing, and poweryoga to ab shredding and butt lifting! LOL. I like how the Kinect shows your silhouette on the screen as the programs track and record your performance and awards you points for doing them correctly! This was me trying it out for the first time before Tony busted me:



Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Pouncing Prowess:


Good news for fans... bad news for haters... I'm baaaaack to peak performance! It has taken me a couple months to get back into shape since a shoulder tear, but I have willed myself back to good health. I ballooned up to the heaviest weight of my life at 174#'s. On the tennis courts, I was huffing and puffing feeling tired and exhausted. Quite a few times, you would catch me muttering,  "I am getting too old for this!"

Hallelujah, I am back down to the ideal weight of 165#'s. How did I do it? I ramped up gym workouts and tennis play, cut out all sugary cereals/sodas/milk, focused on eating six small meals a day, continued the goody two-shoe habit of NOT drinking any alcohol, and drinking LOTS of water. Besides helping the physique by getting rid of the "Preggie Look", it's amazing what the increased exercise and nutrition has done for my complexion.

The most dramatic difference can be seen on the tennis courts. Even though summer temperatures have hovered around the mid-nineties with high humidity in Louisiana, I can now play for hours with proper hydration. I am back to being swift on the court with boundless energy. More Sith Lord and less Squish Lord. I feel young again! :) SQUEE. 

Friday, June 20, 2014

Leaving Las Vegas:


We are all back from Las Vegas. I am the one who proposed the trip, so it was on my head whether it would be a worthwhile vacation. I picked the city because it is vibrant and an excellent people watching city. Las Vegas is like New Orleans... filled with LOTS of life and sights to see.

Here were my travel companions: Tony (left), Bart twin (center), and his girlfriend Cyndi (right):


During the four days (a perfect amount of time to visit Las Vegas), I was able to go on fun excursions by myself, some with Tony, and others with all of us in a group. I think we balanced it well enough to where everyone had personal space, one-on-one times, and  group time. I have friends who live in Las Vegas, so I was also able to spend some quality time with them. (Travis, Ronnie, Wence, and Evan)

While my brother and Cyndi were going to a show every night, Tony and I only saw Zarkana at the Aria. The singing, riveting visuals, and acrobatic feats were a pleasure to watch. One particular part between two shirtless male acrobats made me think of it as a thumbs up to gay marriage. It was touching. :)


The only annoying thing about Las Vegas is walking thru the casinos and the strip on weekends. My brother and I correctly deduced that women and families who brought small children were very slow walkers and made walks stressful for those of us who prefer to speed walk while the temperatures were hovering almost around triple digits.



For Bart and I's 44th birthday, Tony and Cyndi treated us to a delicious dining experience at Giada's. Las Vegas's newest HOT restaurant. While I loved the food, my A.D.D. could not stand another moment of the 2 1/2 hour dining experience. I retreated to my phone as I could not listen to another over-the-top presentation (salesmanship) by our waiter. I prefer a much more relaxing dining experience, but I felt like we were trapped in a time-share presentation as everything seemed geared towards up-selling us into spending more money on "sparkling water", exotic drinks, or iced tea that was percolated right there on your table with three separate glass containers.  In the end, our bill was $343 for four people... not including tip. Don't get me wrong, the food at Giada's is delicious. The presentation and salesmanship was a bit of a turn-off. :(

Here is a pic of Tony and I after eating at Giadas. My brother was supposed to take a pic of her picture in the background, but he screwed up. LOL.


So, I am back home in Louisiana. Las Vegas was entertaining and I am glad I went. Be forewarned, it is a very expensive city for drinks, food, nice hotels, and gambling. At the Cosmopolitan, it will set you back $5 for a bottle of water and $18 for a alcoholic beverage. Just getting two crepes with a plastic bottle of coke and sprite was $34 at the Vdara. The slots are super tight. I didn't notice anyone winning. The comps were extremely stingy, but I guess the resorts have higher priorities like servicing their high debt loads. If you are a straight male, you'll enjoy that all the women dress super slutty at night to go to the various clubs. Maybe they were hookers... hmm... something you never know in Las Vegas. :)

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Blogger Schadenfreude:

You may find this hard to believe from my sunny disposition and youthful appearance, but I'll be TWICE AS OLD as Taylor Swift on June 15th... . :'( SNIFF. Hell, I can't believe it either! I don't even possess HALF the rage, bitterness, or grumpy orneriness of Jimbo. How can I be older and turning "44"???

Argh. To deal with this most unfortunate and depressing day, I am taking Mean Cub, my twin-brother, and his girlfriend to Las Vegas on Thursday where we will look for HAPPINESS and the meaning of life in Sin City for five glorious days. The highlight of the trip will be going to Las Vegas's hottest new restaurant GIADA

I do have friends who live in Las Vegas, so Mean Cub and I will be able to hangout with local gays off the strip in friendly environs away from clubs catering to douchey patrons. We'll be visiting bars called: Garage and Fun Hog Ranch. The names of these bars sound intriguing indeed! LOL.

So, please think nothing but good thoughts while I am in Las Vegas. I could use some luck and good Karma to make the 44th Birthday one I'll always cherish.

How well do I give Jimbo bitchface? Is it close to his permanent scowl? Tell me! :):

Friday, May 02, 2014

Daddy's Furry Rugrats:

Pierre and Boudreaux were groomed yesterday and now smell super powdery fresh. They are always most adorable when their long hair is shaved off. :)

Unfortunately, they both got ear infections after the grooming. Every five minutes, they shook their ears as if they were propellers on a helicopter. At first, I was like... "have they learned a new form of non-verbal communication with each other?" Dirk! No... their ears were red and bothering them. This went on every five minutes causing me a very restless night of sleep.

At 12:30am, I was able to find an ear rinse and steroid med that was prescribed the last time this happened. It took a little while to work, but thankfully, the helicopter shakes subsided after 12 hours. My furry rugrats are too sweet to be suffering with ear aches! 

Pierre and Boudreaux (on back porch yesterday):